8:42 PM
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
darling!
im going to book in again. ):
not bad la..
at least got wednesday off
due to hari raya haji ^^
den can come back rest..
and text darling the whole day
haha..
better than stay in camp trraining
den cannot chat with darling.
today i did nth much at home
was lazying around
haha
went out for a while to get some stuff
den after tt come home le..
hopefully i didnt miss out anything
and can finish wat i wan in time ^^
i wonder next week which day u staying in hostal
hopefully got some comfirm dates
so can plan some stuff..
teehee!
im soooooooo tired..
i miss u sooooooooo much dear..
friday is coming soon
hope to see u at night!!
hopefuly u dun be too stress out for exams bah
jiayou studying k..
short short post..
i gtg soon le..
muacks!
love ya dear..
JIAYOU!!
text me if anything happens k
wo ai ni =D
8:40 PM
Sunday, November 14, 2010
darling..
im going to book in le
so sad ):
need to wait another few more days den can see u
lucky this week got haji
can wednesday see u le
hopefully u will be in singapore on tt day lo
(:
i miss u soooooooooooo much
its now jus soo much
is sooooooooooooooo much ^^
dear..
i have been enlighten by my mama le
she told me quiet a lot of stuff
i think im jus going let things be
let all the jealousy away
at least i will feel better
and i wun give u so much stress as well
u wun feel so irritatated by me also
i wun give u so much trouble and stuff
so long as u are transparent abotu u and him
dun hide anything from me
i guess it will be ok lar..
and nothing big going to happen again
i guess all the jealousy will be gone bah
but if he does smth big again..
i dunno wat i will do lo.
i hope tt he will realise his limits bah
though i find it bad to say it out lar..
but hopefully he will understnad le..
i suppose if i were in his shoes..
i wun do stuff like he does lar..
haha
hopefully these 2 days will pass fast
he send u home yesterday
i guess sooner or later he will go pick u up
at ur house lar..
its jus a matter of time..
den maybe holiday he will frequent msia to find u bah
hopefully tts all jus false imagination
and im jus reading too much into it.. (:
i hope u will have some self control bah..
like know when to reject his hao yi
cos at times i think he is going too much le
doing stuff a bit overboard..
i know u find it hard to reject also
but there are times
that if u dun reject
u will find it harder to next time
when a more serious thing appear..
tts my advice to u bah ^^
hopefully u know wat u are doing
dear sorry that i keep setting double standards
i nv knew until i read ur blog..
im raelly sorry
i will try to be consistant next time k..
if at any point i DS again
please tell me
all i wan is make ur life easier and happier
not sadder and harder
tell me if i do anything tt make u dam sad k
i wun repeat it again.. (:
i love u so much dear
muacks
dear.. im going to leave hse le
else i cannot make it in time
call u when i in camp k
hopefully u will blog everyday
den i can read bah
jiayou mugging for exam k..
im always behind u
anything text me k..
i get back to u assap...
love you dear..
i leave le..
muack
JIAYOU!!
11:08 PM
Saturday, November 13, 2010
sad to say this
i used to admire him
but now i HATE HIM TO THE MAX
sorry dear for saying this out..
he is getting overboard..
maybe im jus being too sensitive
but there are stuff that are very obvious to see
im not tt blind
i cannot act like one either
though i was enlighten by my mom
and felt better at letting go
all my jealousy
but now this has gone too far
i cant take it anymore
sorry for being extremely selfish now
if things dun change soon
i guess wat my mom say will be true
maybe the words of wisdom from an elder
should really be followed..
maybe i should listen to my mom.
im sorry dear for spewing such language.. ):
hate me if u wan
8:27 PM
Sunday, November 07, 2010
dear!!
im gonna book in soon le..
another 30min + den nid leave house le
so sad..
this week quiet good lar..
manage to spend quiet some time with u
though got good and bad times
got happy moments
got sad and emo moments..
but at least spend a lot more time with darling
tt more than enuf le
^^
haizz
i feel so confused now
dunno whether to let u go stay
or not..
i know the feeling of having to travel
to and fro jus cos cannot stay
i know its very sian and
very ma fan also
cos cannot stay till too late
u might really need the extra study time to help u
in ur studies and exams
and he is the only guy tt can help..
its like u need it badly lo
but i dun like it
i really dun like it u staying over..
though i promised myself to nv let u stay
i guess im gonna break my promise soon
darling
can u tell me why
why i keep allowing u to go even though i dun like
why i know i wil feel sad after tt yet i allow u to..
i scared i send wrong msg to u also
keep letting u go
as if i dun really care like tt..
like u are not significant in my heart or smth like tt
but in my heart
it really matters a lot lar..
u say u wun go..
but i know u really want to..
cos of the trouble if dun stay..
i wan u to have an easy life..
not to suffer..
how?!? ):
im raelly at a lost now..
lost at wat to do ):
next week going to be busy week for me
dun think can spend as much time with darling
as before for the last week
hopefully still can draw out some time lo
den darling wun feel so lonely
ok lar.. u wun be lonely lar
more like i wun think too much
as long as can talk to u everday
its ok le bah..
^^
today listen to
li jiu zhe
xiang tai duo
the lyrics very meaningful sia
its like telling my story and how we feel
i really hope it wun be like the song lo
its starting to be very similar le..
hope jay de an jing wun be needed
(:
today post short short bah
need to go off soon le..
need start packing
still need think
den at night give darling answer..
i go off le
bye darling
wo ai ni..
i love you ^^
do blog everyday k
so i can read.. (:
MUACKS
4:34 AM
Saturday, November 06, 2010
darling!!
im sitting beside u and posting now.
haha..
think u will know also bah
cos like very obvious also...
i typin so loud..
today blog 3 times le sia
ahhaha
1st time staying at ur hostal living room and study tgt
(:
dun feel very good though
fell aslp like for 30min like tt..
den somemore very noisy i think
thats wat u tell me lar..
i did something unforgivable sia
);
i actually invaded ur privacy...
something which u hold dear the most
i dunno why
but when i woke up..
i was jus curious of wat u were talking to him about
den i jus looked lo..
saw 2 sentence and that made me though a lot lar..
i really wonder if im still worth to be ur bf sia
doing such stuff to u..
after seeing those 2 lines..
i felt like ive become a burden to u
i cant take care of u properly.
even though i promised u
i nv make u happy
but instead make u angry.
i cant even motivate u or help u out in studies
its like im the most useless and worse bf le..
i went out to think things thru.
but still cannot come up with any conclusions..
when eating mac with u
i also thought a lot
i know its quiet sian for u
when u see ur bf so sian sian emo emo
sorry darling..
give u xtra burden again..
i thought about how life may be
if me and him swap roles
like u met him first.. got tgt with him
den met me in uni..
i guess things wun be the same bah
u wun be caught in this triangle thing..
u wun feel so sad..
ur bf will be very good to u
can drive u aroung and spoil u with stuff
wun ps u cos of a ball..
things realy wun be the same bah
cos u and me wun be that close as compared to
u and him now...
since im not tt smart and stuff..
things might.. and jus maybe be so much better for u
but..
lifes like tt..
its was made for u to meet me first
den him in uni..
i dun wanna see u suffer in the middle..
though u say u dun feel it...
i jus want to give u all i can..
if to the point that all i can cannot make u happy
den the last choice will be used i suppose..
the thought went past my mind many times..
yet it was always ruled off..
i jus cant bear..
but if i know that u wil be 100 times better off
i will really jus let it go..
maybe if he was in my place now
he will teng u more than i did
cherish u even more from the start...
instead of starting it jus weeks ago
will be willing to wait for u for any amount of time
without feeling down
wun feel jealous when u go out with ur frens
i wish there was a machine
that lets people test out such stuf
at least if i seen the future and know if the outcome will be good
i wun have to think so much le
while eating mac i suddenly stop to listen to mp3
u know wat song i was listening to?
i think u can guess it de lar..
the same chinese song lo
yi ge ren sheng huo..
maybe im really like in the song
ai qing shi ge meng,
er wo shui guo tou..
perhaps i already overslept too much
though i dun wanna believe so
cos i know my darling love me very much
and so do i love her as much
i hope things will really straighten itself out
and light a path for us during ur sem break
sorry to say this...
but im kind of tired alraedy..
i know im not the only one tired..
u are tired as well bah
darling falling aslp on my lap now
the feeling so nice..
to see u aslp..
though water are rolling down my cheeks now..
i wish i can stop time and freeze at this nice moment
):
i also dunno wat i typing le
im jus typing wat ever nonsense thats coming to my mind
pardon me if wat i posted started to soudn negetive again
like weeks ago
though i promise not to think about such stuff again..
you jus woke up... (:
11:43 PM
Friday, November 05, 2010
Darling..
I decided to change my prediction le
Its like 9.30 le..
U still dunno at which coffee bean
I think u 1030 or even more den end le lar
I dun even know if I should continue to wait anymore
If wait
Den ltr end up nid go home cos cannot stay ur hostel
I feel super sian
Like wait all along for nothing
Cannot say nothing lar
At least company darling home
But its very chao ji wu di de siannnnnn
Somemore I sms u to check see whether reb staying
U also no reply
I dun even know where u are now..
I walked literally the whole dg jus to find u leh..
I cannot find any coffee bean sia
Dunno which one u went to..
Walked from plaza sing to parkway mall
Den to orchard central den back
Walked to cathay
All dun have
Only have starbucks..
I guess u mixed up the name bah
But I lazy find le
Jus sit outside plaza sing and wait lo
At most wait till 10plus send u home den I go home lo
I study till nothing left to study cos no internet
All I dl de stuff finish le
I walk till shop close le..
Now I really nothing to do other than do offline stuff lo
Hope u finish soon
^^
U must be very long nv chat up with zijian le
Talk so long with him
Not even eat dinner lo
Haha
I tried finding timbre or the dunno wat graffee
But cannot even find tt place sia
I feel so LOL.. so lousy
So famous de place also dunno where..
My tummy feels odd odd.. ):
Hopefully wun need to shit anytime soon..
Nearby like no toilet..
Plaza sing de still nid climb to level 2 den have toilet..
So dumb sia the design
Lets try see here got internet mar
Hopefully have..
At least can fb
OH NO
Stomach pain..
-.-
Bitch
Now need go toilet..
I very lazy walk sia
Kns
Byebye..
Off shitting le..
):
Pain pain T.T
ps: posted at 9.45pm
11:41 PM
Darling!!
I decided not to waste time
And blog while waiting for u.. haha
Though no internet
But jus type and copy and paste later lo
Haha
Use Microsoft words again xD
I found out like bring laptop around very fang bian sia
U wanna study or write blog
Can jus suddenly got feel sit down and write le
Dun nid like wait till at home
Once reach home maybe no feel to write le
Or wanna write de stuff forget le..
Haha..
Theres so much to get..
Yet im soooooooooo pooor ):
Hmmm.
Im at cathay now.. sitting at somewhere near gramophone
Can listen to their nice nice soothing music sia
So nice..
Been walking around plaza sing for like 1 hour ++
very long nv walk around plaza sing le sia
got so much stuff to look
but not many interest me lar..
I saw a white baby grand piano!!
Super nice..
But hor.. the price even nicer..
30,000
OMG
Its so crazyyyyy
I rather get a car than get that..
I wish I will earn a lot next time
Den can get a lot of stuff that I wan
And also get u stuff that u wan..
Hehs
Dear u know ice monster close down le mar?
So sad…. ):
Now I dunno where got anymore shops le
I think the whole chain close down leh
Hopefully when got internet can find lo
Today didn’t had lunch and dinner with darling
U had them both with ur other bfs
HAHhahahha..
But its ok lar..
At least u nv stop me from waiting for u
I can see u after u meet them and send u around to find ppl
^^
That more than enuf le I suppose..
Cos u also have ur fren and family to consider also.
It must be tired on u
Trying to make the best out of the many many worlds
Ensure that u spend time with all the impt ppl in ur life.
Today was like the
Hmmm
I think 3rd time I eat alone myself?
I nv really like eating alone
But I too hungry le
So decided to sit down alone in pastamania to eat
Haha
If alone I usually buy stuff can eat on the go
Or dun eat lo
Or da bao
At least dun sit down alone at eat
Wun feel zzz
Dunno why today got feel to sit down eat sia
Must be too hungry le
Hahah
I think the 2nd time was eating mac alone
Like 2-3 weeks ago
The week u went to get ur new phone..
1st time I forget why le..
I think eating alone outside feels very pathetic sia
Im never gonna eat alone outside le..
Eat alone jus let me think of
‘yi ge ren shen huo’ by lin fan only..
Should have gotten pretzels and something else
Inside of sitting down and eat..
Lol
Dun worry dear..
U must be thinking its ur fault now..
Its not k..
Cos im the one who wanna eat alone de
Can ask u eat with me de mar..
Hahha
No worries.
Today we went to T3 to send ur niece off
T3 is like superrrrrrrrrr nice sia
Im so impressed with Singapore lo
Design until so nice
No wonder ppl say its world class airport lar..
Haha..
How I wish can go overseas with u someday
Manage to do some studying while waiting for u at the airport
Sitting at the viewing gallery
Nice sia see planes fly by
Make me think of the Airplanes song..
i hope today can stay over at ur hostal
yesterday very zzz sia
expected that both ur sis and reb will stay
end up both nv stay
lol
hope today can spend the night with darling
so long nv fall aslp and wake up to darling le…
I miss those days sia
Hopefully can stay over
Den maybe can watch nodame catabile..
Keep seeing video shops show
Like very nice sia
Majiam some sort of very nice drama + musical
Hopefully I will remember to watch it lo
Wonder wat time will darling finish meeting with zijian
My guess will be about….
Hmmm..
9.30 or more bah
Hehs
Lets see if my prediction will be true
Meanwhile I shal spend some time to study bah
Wanted to study at place like starbucks or smth de
Dunno when u will end
Later I sit down order coffee..
Den u end le..
Waste my money lim kopi..
HAHA..
Maybe today will post 2 times bah
Go back home or something den post again..
My laptop a biit sot sot le
Screen keep flickering..
Better let it rest..
I
Love
You
Sinzhi!
Ps: posted at about 8.45pm
1:27 AM
Darling!!
My house de internet spoil le.. ):
The starhub must be on maintenance again
Lol
End up guess wat
Im writing on Microsoft words
Save it up first den post it up tml..
When the internet is back up
Or at ur house. Haha
Sinzhi..
I sometimes really wonder
At any point of time will u get mad
After reading my post last time..
I really scared cos I post wat my true feelings are
U read le den will not happen leh..
If u really dun like me talking bad about ur fren at times
Please tell me k..
If u feel like
Wa lao eh why my bf keep complaining
Why my bf keep thinking like tt..
Why cant he jus be normal
Why he keep complaining about small small stuff
And about hj..
Please do tell me..
I will try not to blog about such stuff..
Its meant to let u read and know about how I feel.
and not to let u sad or pissed or feel anything negative..
inform me if u feel so k..
Dear.
Issit really I have been thinking way too much?
I find it okok leh..
Though at time a bit more.
But still ok leh.
At least im prepared for the worst most of the times lar
I knew certain stuff will happen..
Maybe that why it didn’t affect me like how It would
Should the same thing happen to others..
I think they already flare up or something le..
i really wish there is some godly person outside
that can answer all my question sia..
all my doubt and stuff.
At least I wun have to keep thinking or guessing or deciding.. ):
This week other than Monday I nv blog sia.
Never even write on journal book..
I guess its cos I dun have much feel to write
Nothing much to write
Or im jus lazy bah
But I know Thursday was a bit zzz to me
He bought u the orangey doll!!! ):
The thingy I wanna buy so long ago but didn’t
Cos u said u going shift hostal ltr very ma fan..
Sian..
I should have jus ignored u and bought it
Now end up he buy for u le.
The feeling jus sucks big big time..
I wish time can turn back..
I knew he would get u smth but I nv expected tt..
That is like in my eyes lar..
Way too extreme le..
Dear..
Sorry to say bad stuff about him
I really though he was very good guy.
To me he really was…
Caring towards u.
Being by ur side when u are feeling down
Or need company to talk to..
He is really a very nice person.
But at times I really find him an big asshole lo..
I dunno why also.
He jus does things in a way that
He treats me to be non-exsistant..
Like u got no bf like tt..
There are things that a bf should do and a fren should do..
I feel at times he is passing the line
And my tolerance level.. *argh*
Today manage to book out early and meet dear for dinner
The feeling shoik sia.
Can meet dear for dinner..
Haha..
After that we went for a short
‘I light marina’ walk..
Hehs.
Walk a bit den we both very tired tired..
Den went home le..
Darling
Sorry if I showed attitude to u today again..
Im really really sorry..
I tried my best to act normal even though im thinking a lot inside
I know u wanna hear wat im thinking
But so far everytime I shared with u
The expected consequence tt I predict
Will occur..
I didn’t want to tell u cos I wanna prevent tt situation
But yet u wan me to tell u..
And if I dun tell u.. I will have mood change
Den like attitude and dao u
Den u angry..
I dun wan see u angry.. so I tell u..
But end uip u will sad..
AHHHHHHHH
So confusing ):
Dear..
U know today when I saw the photo on fb
I was really dam bloody pissed?
I dunno why but tt feeling jus came to me
My frens around me happen to saw the photo..
Den like comment on it
I acted normal..
Acted like I was really ok with it..
But inside..
i was feeling different
if it wasn’t for u explaining wat happen
I think I will go crazy the whole week
Sometimes..
Wat u see may not be wat is seems,..
I wonder why ur frens so zzz de sia
Maybe u also bah cos u say u will do the same also
Its like people attach le u still sort of cre8 scandal for them
U dun feel bad meh?
It like purposely trying to make the other partner angry
And make them break up lo..
Maybe ur frens dunno my exsistance bah
That why they make such stuff up
I hope so lar..
I choose to believe so..
Or maybe its jus for fun..
But this sort of fun I will nv do it bah..
Its very… I dunno how to say.. zzz-ish bah
Maybe asshole-ish? Lol.
Mei nv
I think im better at expressing myself writing than speaking lo
Somehow I write le…
I can write out all I feel…
Maybe its cos I face a computer or book bah
When I try to tell u how I feel at time
Its very hard to find the correct words and express how I feel
Cos words somehow are always very sensitive
Use one wrong word and its G_G le
Haha..
Everytime I book out
All I wan is to spend jus more time with u
Yes I do spend more time..
But most of the time for the pass few weeks
The 1st day we meet
Sure very gloomy and emos de
I wish everyday we were out will be happy..
I wun think so much
I wun compare to last time and be self- contented..
I jus wan my weekend to be with u
Happily..
At least that’s the motivation I have whenever im in camp..
Next week is going to be a long and shiong week
I hope me and darling can be back to normal before i book in
If things are bad when I book in..
I think I will really go crazy inside le..
I guess I already am mad le..
Becoming crazy is jus a step away
Hehe..
Don feel like writing anymore about why I will go mad le..
U wan den ask me on Friday/sat.. should u read this on the same day I post lo
Cos will say a lot of stuff..
And a lot of thoughs.
That are best not written down here..
Lol
Its 1.22 am.
And I still dun feel very tied..
But in order to meet u tml early.
I shal force myself to slp..
Hopefully tml can spend more time with u
Despite ur busy time to send off ur niece with hj and meet zj for dinner
Hopefully I can sent u around lar…
I see u part with them I sure feel very ZZ de
But at least get to spend more time..
That more than enuf le..
Sorry daer for letting u go thru all this pain
And strsss. And shit..
I guess im the culprit for all these on u..
Dui bu qi..
I hope I wun give u much anymore.. (:
I go orh orh le..
Nights darling
Sweet dream
Oh ya1 u nv bathe and slp arh
Hahahah
Lazy and dirty Piggy!!
Hehs
Wo ai ni
Aishiteru!
7:03 PM
Monday, November 01, 2010
darling!!
im blogging from in-camp!
hahaha
not bad lar..
think the next few days..
also will end early..
den maybe can use the com..
haha.
at least can get up to date on fb..
den can blog blog and read ur blog also!! (:
dun nid wait till late late end of week
den can see..
plus can see darling de photo on fb
at least can cheer me up
looking at the fun times we had.. (:
i love you dear ^^
darling must be enjoying dinner now (:
jiayou studying k..
it must be hard on u..
having to manage this complex problem
plus me complain everyday
plus needing to brush up ur studies..
JIAYOU!!
gum pa te!!
i will try my best to support u
and complain less..
but sometimes really need to say
cos feel really dam zzz...
sorry dear.. for giving u xtra pressure and stress ):
its like im not helping u..
but instead giving u more trouble sia...
but u really meant a lot to me bah..
tt why i supose i starting to get possessive a bit
keep controlling u...
tell me if i too over k..
i dun wan over do stufff... (:
qin ai de...
sometimes i really wonder..
how come i nan de got time to company u
nan de can book out and spend more times..
den u will set some appointment or date with frens de..
but i know u also not on purpose de lar..
maybe it really is jus a coincidence lo
or even before i tell u can meet up
u set date with others le..
so i dun blame u lar...
hmmm wait
typing out this.. make it seems like i blaming u sia
hahah..
i really raelly not blaming u lar..
jus wanna type out wat i feel lo ^^
i believe that if can u will wann spend more time with me also
hopefully this week will have more time lar
u like have a lot of plans
den i trying my best to fit in all the blank spots lo
so wun foil ur plans with ur fren
u also very long nv meet zijian le..
plus suppose to spend 1 whole day with him de
end up only one dinner..
not too bad le lar..
but now like very luan
i also dunno how to find u after tt..
lol
hopefully something will work out this week..
and i will find a best plan for both of us..
or maybe the 3 of us.
hmm
wait..
its the 4 of us...
hahahahah
i miss u dear...
miss u so so much...
how i wish can spend everyday with u
though i know tts impossible.. ):
jus hope to spend more time with u
i really scared u might re jiu sheng qing some day sia
den run away with him.. ):
though my talents and other stuff better
like sports and music talented..
*hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah*
but i think these doesnt come into factor also bah..
i went browsing cars online yesterday sia
haha..
hopefully can afford one when i work hard enuf.. ^^
MUACKS!!
i love you darling..
hopefully u wun study till too late den reach home
den i can at least call u a while
jus a whil a while is enuf le bah..
but i think u sure raech home quiet late..
like 1 am lo..
den by tt time i slp le..
haha..
call u tml morning lo..
wake up call again.. ^^
wah i blog so long today sia..
hopefully tml also can get to use com..
den can see wat darling might or maybe nv..
blog about..
^^
aishiteru...
MUACKS